More About Me

Before delving into the details of my father's illness and my work, a bit more indulgent post seems appropriate. So, a bit more about me and my reason for writing.

If I had to describe myself to a stranger I’d say first that I’m curious. I’m curious about what makes people tick thereby exploring what makes me tick. I am interested in what keeps us stuck and what motivates us to change and grow. And I’m especially curious about the narratives we use to tell, and in fact, define our life and in how those narratives are changing due to technology.

Curiosity to understand others bordered on an obsession when, as a young adult, I got the chance to live in France for an extended period of time. I was driven by a desire to understand a language other than my maternal tongue. But more important than understanding what was being said, I was determined to learn how to speak the language so that I could converse in that language. You might say that I not only wanted to learn to speak French but rather, I wanted to become French so that I could get around the barriers that kept many from wanting to speak with an American. I wanted to learn it all, the idiomatic expressions as well as the arcane language only used by academics. And so I set out to mimic and eventually adopt the stance, the facial expressions and the body language of those I met and, quite frankly (pun intended) fell in love with.

During that first part of my time in France, I lived in a three-bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Paris. In the apartment was one enormous walk-in closet, which became my private studio. I stayed awake into the early hours of the morning during the first month reading aloud to myself from a brand new copy of “The Stranger” by Albert Camus. I listened to the words as they rolled—or sometimes trundled—off my American English tongue. I looked up every word in my Larousse pocket dictionary and swore I would eventually learn to create the velar “r” that stumps so many non-French speakers.

Many things about Camus and the existential movement intrigued me and still do. But as I look back, what fascinated me the most was the beauty and intensity of the simple prose that Camus employed to create a shocking tale of an existential anti-hero devoid of feeling.

Since that time, I’ve been intrigued with others’ narratives and the descriptions of human emotion—or lack thereof—that I hear from my family, friends and clients. I’m fascinated with how we use written and verbal symbols to communicate that emotion with others and ourselves through our own internal voice. And I’ve realized that writing poetry is just not enough to say what I want and need to say about aging.

My hope is that by writing about my experience and my work, I can share insights that might prove useful to you as you care for an aging loved one or, as is my case, you care for an aging loved one while learning to better care for yourself.